being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
