her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
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For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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