my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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