But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
