It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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