i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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