I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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