So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
