Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize