Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
