Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
