wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
