If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
