I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize