It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize