I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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