Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
