I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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