5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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