I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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