There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
