Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
