I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
