Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
cat food counts as protein by the way
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I want to fling myself into the sun
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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