I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
