Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
