I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
