Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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