how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
