I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
