He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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