How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
