is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
