so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
