even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize