Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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