hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
