i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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