you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
