I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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