my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
