My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
