all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize