Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
