Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
