Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
