As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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