I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
