if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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