just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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