This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
