i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
