I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
