I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
