Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize