well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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