and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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