margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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