you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
