im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
