Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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