i would punch a child for taco bell
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize