how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
